Listen to your horse

Following on from my post about Responsibilities...

There are days when I ask myself "What were you thinking?" - usually on days when I hadn't been thinking... like a horse.

Yesterday I must have had my stupid head on because I decided I must exercise the horses as I had missed two days and they had been on a patch of good grass. I fetched them from their place in the shade and asked Fina to do some flexions on the circle, it went well but she didn't seem particularly happy or herself. It was hot so I thought we would go for a ride instead of groundwork and it would be cooler in the woods. The horses were reluctant and at each junction were inclined to head home, but I was still thinking they needed work so off we went down another track, and they kept stopping, and in auto idiot mode, after a pause I would ask them politely to go on. Then suddenly, I woke up to realise that my horses were telling me it was too damn hot for anything! What had I been thinking of? Certainly not of my horses and their immediate welfare! So I got off, loosened the girth which felt too tight, swatted some pesky flies, and apologised to my horses. Fina was very hot. Lucie thanked me and asked if she could eat, we were in shady woods and there was a bit of grass. Fina was zoned out, so much so that at first she wasn't interested in grazing, I had let it get that bad! If she is upset, she goes into her shell. We hung out and I found some tasty morsels for her but it was minutes before she was able to relax and enjoy them and even then, now that I was properly observing, I could tell some distress and tension was still there from the way she was just picking at the grass. OK girls I said, let's go home! And I walked alongside, feeling suitably humble for being a human, and for not listening to my horses. It is a good thing that horses are so forgiving. I had let purpose take over and become more important than the relationship and connection with the horses, which I had ignored completely. They had been trying to tell me something and I hadn't been listening.

Relationships first!

Today was completely different, and I was back in horse world, which I usually am these days. Above incidents are rare but I am only human after all! Also I got up and outside a bit earlier. As before, the horses were already in the shade, in their shed. So we touched, greeted, and Fina asked for scratches, and Lucie asked if we were going outside where there is grass, I said not right now, and I asked Fina if she would come with me round the paddock which she did, because she likes being top girl and is very willing to be with me. So having established what seemed to me to be a good connection and empathy, I asked her if we could put the halter and line on and then  invited her to go ahead into the other field where we have room for big circles and manouvers, in the shade. Which is what we did, calmly and with connection, including some canter which she offered. Finishing with some liberty changes of direction. Lucie checked in with us from time to time and otherwise stayed in the shed. Calm and confident, offering a couple of suggestions for adding interest to the day, I think I was perceived as an okay sort of human today!

 

Yesterday's experience and my realisation of loss of connection through direct line thinking coincided with a similar experience being posted about on the Facebook page of this website, which has some excellent articles and perspectives http://www.happy-horse-training.com/

I like this approach and understanding of herd behaviour and human interaction and how we can improve our connection. I try to do this but don't put the same words to it. It is more than undemanding time, which is a neutral attitude. This is proactive in a very nonconfrontational way. I think of it as getting into horse time and leaving human world outside. As a human I have to make a conscious effort, not to barge in on the horses and start giving orders even in the politest way; walking into their group, stall or shed and putting the halter on is still just like walking into someone's house and taking over. There is another part of this about owning space when you come into the field or barn, and asserting ownership and dominance, but even then, there is no good in being rude or rushed, if we think about how horses do it and what are the qualities of good and bad leaders.